Hola!

Bad week -it hurts.

I don't wanna talk about it.

I love you all and I hope life treats you well.

Kimberly

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and so on.

Well, I am back at Alma. We started our Winter Term last Monday the 9th. With Model UN and other obligations, including my classes - I have very quickly found myself never lacking anything to do.

While this last week and one half has been standard, I am rejoicing and struggling with some things:

• This year's recruitment effort for MUN has been entirely fruitful. Of 26 new students signed up for the class, only one has quit after the first week. Typically, the team sees a dropout rate of about 42%. This year has been entirely different and I am glad.
  
• For 8 days I have been highly successful at managing my time and having the commitment to hit the Rec daily. Likewise, I am trying to improve my overall health, fitness, and happiness by setting goals that I am confident I can achieve. Like last year, I want to make a lifestyle change. Not just a goal to tone up and lose some fat -I want to have a healthy routine of caring for myself.
• In happiest news, Andrew came to visit me last Friday.
  
• In saddest news, he had to go back to Ann Arbor. It gets more difficult to say goodbye everytime. It's not that we don't - we have both become familiar with it as a common theme in our relationship - but it seems to suck a little more then the last time. Surprisingly, I feel that missing him will be the greatest challenge I will face over the next week/month/year. . . who knows. I used to be good at preoccupying my mind when I missed him; now? I seem to be losing my gift. I miss him a lot and almost constantly. Maybe, the memories from winter break are still too fresh.
• On a completely different note, I need the motivation to fill out some important applications this week. I am hoping something profound will inspire me at around 9 am Saturday. Whatever divinity there may be, I hope it is on my side for this one.

Hmmm. . . . and I guess I will leave you (whichever person you are that I love so much), I will leave you with a challenge. You are responsible for finding something you love and genuinely appreciate inside of someone you do not love and appreciate. There is no time limit and there is no system of accountability, but try it. I will too.

I love you all (esp. Runibega).

Kimberly

Happy Christmas.

Today is the third best day of the year. It is, of course, Christmas Eve-Eve. I know not everyone agrees with me, but Christmas is one of the rare times during the year worthy of recognition. And, it isn't just Christmas. It is the entire holiday season, including: Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, and Boxing Day.

At our house we celebrate Christmas, though we are not a Christian family. My father and sister do not believe in the Christian God and growing up, this meant that our Christmas was centred around the unification of the family and sharing love. Love, of course, it what makes the holiday season worthy of celebration. It is the only time of year the country turns off for the sake of family and love. Granted, some people only see it as another Labor Day. However, if those individuals have free time, where do you think most of them are spending it? Most likely at home, with people they love.

Yes, there is a commercial component to the holiday season. But, what kind of person allows commercials and sales ruin the reason for the season. If someone lets marketing tactics interfere with his enjoyment of the season - I blame him. He must be certain of why the season is important to him, and not concern himself with the economics of it. Christmas is a season for love and selfless giving - if it has strayed too far from this, each individual is responsible to change it.

I love Christmas because my family can be together - something that happens less often as I get older. I love Christmas because I can spend quality time with my best friends: Stephanie, Andrew, Brent and Corey. I love Christmas because of the jingle bells and silver bells. I love Christmas because of the cookies and cocoa. I love Christmas because of the lights and the smells. I love Christmas because the true beauty of human fellowship comes through.

Have a very happy Christmas.

Home again.

Yes, that it right.

I am home! It feels good.

Finals are almost over. . .

Yay. . . I have one more final and then an essay and I am done for the term!

My history final is tomorrow at 9 am and my final essay exam is due Wed.

I can't wait to go home and make Christmas happen!

Ha ha. . . oh man.

A Response:

I have been lucky enough to experience love.

It is a feeling that separates you from the world; you are no longer cognizant of the million other things that are waiting to be done - the million other things that have been waiting to be done.

You are able to escape the term papers, the presentations, and the expectations. Love lets you escape all the stress and dissolve into something lucid and perfect, the world you've created with the person you love.

And, you're right, being with the one you love - that interaction- is unjust; as soon as the interaction stops, you are torn from the comfort and returned to a place where nothing seems to work out, happiness is unexpected, and everything you do seems like a mistake. You return to the real world.

El dia de gracias

To begin, I hope that everyone has had a happy thanksgiving day - including those of you who boycott it for historical protest.

My day has been just fine. I decided to sleep in and then took a 3 hour nap. Apparently, I was tired.

The ignition for the oven broke. So, after my mother prepared dinner at my uncle's home, we ate a typical thanksgiving meal. Sadly, that was the first family meal that we have all had together in months. The conversation wasn't great, but it was nice to hear what everyone was thankful for.

To end, I hope everyone has something or someone that they are grateful for.

Love Songs

Favorite lyrics:

"I had to find you, tell you I need you, tell you I set you apart." Coldplay

"I need you so much closer." Death Cab for Cutie

"Time goes by so slowly, and time can do so much. Are you still mine? I need your love. I need your love. God speed your love to me." The Righteous Brothers

"Would you know my name, if I saw you in heaven?" Eric Clapton

"Someday if all my prayers are answered, I'll hear a footstep on the stair- With anxious heart I'll hurry to the door and maybe you'll be there." Diana Krall

"Anyplace you wanna go, know I'll be next to you." Dave Matthews Band

"A thousand miles seems pretty far, but they've got planes and trains and cars - I'd walk to you if I had no other way. Our friends would all make fun of us, we'd just laugh along because we know none of them have felt this way." Plain White T's

"You've been the only thing that's right, in all I've done. I can barely look at you, but every single time I do, I know we'll make it anywhere from here." Snow Patrol

"I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and, when we kiss, they're perfectly aligned." Iron and Wine

"Let me know that you need me. Let that be enough." Switchfoot

"You give your hand to me and then you say hello. And I can hardly speak, my heart is beating so." Ray Charles

" In a haze, a stormy haze, I'll be round. I'll be loving you always." Coldplay

"When the storm comes, you shelter me. I don't say a word and you know exactly what I mean. In the darkest times you shine on me. You set me free. Steady as we go." Dave Matthews Band

"I can't take my eyes off you. I can't my eyes off you. I can't my eyes off you." Damien Rice

"I wanna live life and never be cruel. I wanna live life and be good to you." Coldplay

"You do something wonderful, to chase it all away. . .You do something to me, something deep inside." Paul Weller

"I came here with a load and it feels so much lighter, now that I met you. And honey you should know that I could never go on without you." Coldplay

Exams, Elections, and Ecclesiastes

This week has been a strange mix of joy, excitement, stress, and frustration. I have had an exam everyday this week. And, unfortunately, there was little more I could have done to prepare for it - although, we all know that isn't the honest truth. I could have made more time. Regardless, these exams have contributed a significant amount of stress to my life. After this week, however, exams will be done for a while and I will be able to preoccupy myself with other important tasks attached to fast-approaching deadlines.

While this is schedule has been frustrating, I have found some relief. The recent elections have been a well-spring of excitement for me. I had hoped and told myself that the Democrats would be able to take the Hill, but I wasn't absolute. It's very difficult to believe they actually did it. I'm afraid someone cheated. I don't want to think that they would, but it seems so surreal that they gained a majority in the Senate (two of those seats, however, are actually held by Independents, who said they will caucus with the Democrats). In addition, Donald Rumsfeld has resigned at the request of our military leaders in Iraq. Let's hope that Bush's nominee makes some intelligent and necessary changes to the U.S. approach to Iraq. Overall, American politics over the last week has left me with a uncharacteristic positive feeling.

During this week I have spent a lot of time fulfilling extra-curricular obligations. One, last night, was the Center for Responsible Leadership Seminar with West Cosgrove. His message was different than what I have heard from other speakers. His proposal is that to improve leadership, we all need to voluntarily knock ourselves down and experience suffering. By doing this we broaden our understanding of being human - we become more whole. I agree.

While I was reflecting on his advice, I came across this:
For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow. Ecclesiastes 1:18

To me this points out a valuable lesson: To learn we must experience grief and sorrow. And, conversely, knowledge brings sorrow. When we leave our ignorance we have a responsibility. West talked about how many people in the United States are scared of knowing how people suffer in the developing world because of the guilt that comes along with it. I think that, while it is true that knowing reality is burdened with grief and guilt, the joy and peace you gain when you reach out to help those who are suffering is infinitely stronger. To know suffering, to be surrounded by it, is important to experience. But, I think it is silly to avoid suffering because of your own guilt and fear. I wish everyone could trust that while the experience is difficult, the rewards that come from it are so much more valuable.

Weakness. . .

"Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character." - Albert Einstein

I am guilty. I am guilty of judging others quickly and severely for weaknesses I see in them. When an individual has doubt in their heart, feels he or she to be uncapable, or gives up - I struggle to maintain respect for that individual. It is tragic for me to see so many people that think so little of themselves. It is equally tragic to see so many others that degrade others to stay balanced on their own feet.

Anyone who knows what "type D" means - will know that this inability to accept weakness is characteristic of dominant personalities like my own. Anyone who is a "D" can understand why I am sick of people failing; I am sick of people not participating; I am sick of people settling! If you want to live a life feeling sorry for yourself, that is your choice, but I cannot promise that I will be able to tolerate you for very long.

The most universal manifestation of weakness is in attitude. Albert Einstein's quote expresses, in my opinion, the the essence of weakness - peoples' outlooks are staining their characters. I see people everyday who seem not to care - who go day to day without any belief in themselves. These people prevade negativity and pollute the world with their fragility.

Although, I realize I should not judge others for anything. I am struggling not to walk up to these individuals and yell:

"Get a freaking backbone!"

Mid-Term Break, baby!

Thank goodness that Fall Break began Wednesday at 2:30. I may not have made it much longer! I know, I know - it is a bit dramatic - but Wednesday was darn rough. This weekend is going to be great! I spent today with my mom, shopping for Andrew's birthday. Tomorrow, I cannot wait to drive to see Andrew and help him celebrate his 20th. He came to Alma to see me last weekend and I am so happy that I can see him for a second weekend in a row. Furthermore, I need good quiet time. Being in Greenville is nice, but when I am with Andrew I am a lot more calm. On Saturday I am coming home, but I will get to visit with Gramps. I haven't had a chance to talk with him recently, and I am anxious to get his perspective on what is going on. His opinion means more to me than anyone else in my life. I'm grateful to have someone like him around. I'll be back in Alma Sunday, and I'll be catching up with Brett.

I hope everyone is enjoying their break! I'll see you all back at school!

Life

“When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure” - Peter Marshall

I am tired. I feel like I have too much to do and much to little time. Today wasn't a bad day - not in the slightest. Compared to the last few weeks, today was amazing. My first oral exam in spanish was simpler than I had thought. I feel that I did well on my Econ exam. I am still on cloud nine from the flattery of KI's open bid. Nevertheless, I am tired. I am worn down by what I have done, but more daunting is what I have yet to do. Sometimes, I think I am part of a machine. I am a gear: molded just so, fitting with others just so, turning and turning - just so. Today, albeit a great day, was a haze. I simply march from one place to another, not thinking. I hate feeling like a drone.

I need something inspirational. I hoped Bob Dole or George McGovern might get me going, but no such luck. Maybe with time? Until then, I will keep working for what I think I want to do with my life.

Prepare to Laugh. . .

If you want anything done, ask a busy person. . .

. . .well perhaps not too busy a person.

School has only just begun and it feels as if it is in full swing. Although, considering that the term is finished in 12 more academic weeks-the haste is understandable.

For the most part, I enjoy my classes. My Early Euro. Law/History course is amazing, regardless of the massive reading it entails. Professor Smith is energetic and makes lecture ?fun? - imagine that! I think I dislike Econ. Not that my preference matters a hill of beans because I need to do the work anyway.

Also, I have been surprisingly committed to continue running while I am at school. I run a half hour, six days a week. I am proud to say there is progress both mentally and physically: not only is my body becoming familiar with the activity, but my mind is finding other things to fixate on besides my lack of oxygen. Today, I was able to focus on the news. Some idiot said some ridiculous thing -of which is, unfortunately, escaping me. It was good though. I had to keep myself from blurting something moderately obscene at the television. Maybe that would have made everyone else's workout more interesting. . .undoubtably so.

On a more personal note, I still miss summer. On the 12 of September, however, I am too busy to dwell. That is perhaps the best aspect of being busy; one does so much that one neglects the negatives in order to increase efficiency. Others may feel that this effect isn't as virtuous as I believe it to be. To them I say: "This is me blog, dog. Don't like? Deal." The fact is, time spent daydreaming about June, July, and August is dwindling - for better or worse.

That will be it. Till next time. . .

Hello September.

It is September the first and, unlike many of my peers, I am not yet on campus. Now that most everyone I care about has gone away for school-or for vacation, I have nothing better to do than wait and hope my packing takes all day tomorrow. You see:

Andrew left today for Ann Arbor. It has been a 'blah' day. It was inevitable, yes, but nontheless saddening. We've handled much worse situations, to be sure. So, why does this seem to knock the wind out of me? Today I had to force myself to stay preoccupied. I spent some time this morning dancing. I cut my sister's hair. I walked with her to pick up her check, get her lip ring changed, and eat lunch. The trip took a brief hour and a half. I surfed the internet. I napped. I talked with missionaries. I watched a foreign film. I even laid with my mother for a bit. All of this, and I still couldn't really shake it. Maybe I got too used to seeing him everyday. We were very lucky. On top of this, I only feel like we have grown closer over the summer (depite my month 7,000 miles south). The stronger bond, with the unknown of when we will see each other next, has made today unpleasant. I am wishing I had gone to school today - perhaps then I would have busied my mind more successfully. Oh well, as sad as it is, the facts are that we have been through this before, and we have done it while coping with other challenges. I wouldn't miss him if it wasn't so good between us. No use being sad over evidence of something so good, right? Right.

Summer is over. Only 8 months. . .that doesn't sound so bad. : )

I wish you all the best. . .also, here are the pictures of my sister's hair:

This is what it is like when summer ends.

Andrew and I spent our last Sunday together in Ludington. After a hike to the lighthouse, a beach stroll, a cat nap in the car, and a sunset on the pier, I hate that summer is leaving us.

Home again.

This is my family - Team Prickly Cholla Brush (PCB). These wonderful people were a major component of my leadership experience at the Ghost Ranch in Abiquiq, New Mexico. For those of you who may not know, I was in New Mexico this past week, at a leadership seminar for Alma's Center for Responsible Leadership. My experience was surprisingly eye-opening. I was challenged. My family helped me confront some flaws in my leadership style and step outside my comfort-zone. Through numerous activities we did, I learned about myself and what I can improve on. Also, the rest of the learning community was extremely supportive and many are anxious to help me reach my goal of universal recognition of the basic human rights of women and children. I am excited to work with them to fundraise over the next year - I want to raise $50, 000 dollars for a local domestic abuse center.

As amazing as the week was - I am ready to enjoy some time with my sister and Andrew.

New Music!

Oooo- I enjoy it.

Terra Naomi - "Say It's Possible"

Forgetting about the photos

We played tennis, went swimming and had not taken pictures. . .

We lounged around watching movies and had not taken pictures. . .

We spent the day at the beach and had not taken pictures. . .

We had a key made and inspected the migrant housing at Klackles: